Redeem this text for a blowjob
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize