How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
You took a bar mat shot.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize