I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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