...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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