yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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