I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
that is very illegal...i love you.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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