i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
