I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
