Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Randomize
