omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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