Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
