UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Randomize
