Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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