I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
