So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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