why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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