Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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