so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
