'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
