That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
