i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
