and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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