You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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