Can i not drive my cunt home
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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