what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
