I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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