Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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