That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
