...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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