i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
