If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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