the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
