Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize