I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
