You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
