Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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