Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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