is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
