cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
