me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
