Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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