i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
