You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
