I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
