Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
So apparently I’m into choking now
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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