Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
