You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize