I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
