did you get engaged???
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Randomize