my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
