1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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