youre lurking in front of me
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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