I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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