I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Randomize
