Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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