my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
