Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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