i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
