I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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