question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize